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Mothering With Joy

A smile really goes a long way. When Monique won an Oscar for playing the most horrible mother of the year I cringed. Phylicia Rashad never won any awards for her role as Claire Huxtable on TV. Many times society and Hollywood never praises the mother who is intelligent, beautiful, and most of all happy. Many mothers cannot keep a smile on their face that displays pure joy when acting or just simply being. Phlycia Rashad showed the side of the black woman that we rarely get to see. Even, when there were challenges with her children and family there still was a joy. She loved Black men and she adored her husband. She didnt resort to conflict to resolve issues. She was sexy and she wasnt needy. She could hold her own. A lot of people felt the Cosby show was just too happy. It wasn’t real. Families and children need “too happy” in their lives. We need to recognize and celebrate happy women.

I have noticed that mothers who neglect their children get a lot more help than mother’s who are there for their children. Mothers who parent with a smile and do the right thing get fewer calls with someone on the other end of the phone offering to help out or take the children for a day. I have noticed that people are more likely to do more for parents who are doing all the wrong things, because they feel sorry. Too many Black people get high off of misery. Many in the Black community celebrated Monique’s Oscar win for playing a horrible Black mother. Good mothers need celebration and accolades too. Hollywood has never allowed another Claire Huxtable to grace the screen. How many Hollywood offers has Phylicia Rashad received? I sometimes wonder how many Black actresses even know how to play a role where they radiate as a mother and wife. Too many Black women know how to play a bitch. How many know how to be joyful? Children need joyful mothers. It really makes a difference. The role of the Black mother needs to be re-defined. Yes, it can be a struggle sometimes. But, we do not have to take it out on our children. Parent with a smile, help mothers to keep smiling.

Iya Raet
The book, "Holistic Parenting from the Pan-Afrikan Perspective" , is still available at http://www.afrikanparenting.com .

Grandfathering, a Dying Art

(Picture courtesy of, picture-book.com/node/2814.)

I was laying bed with my son this morning and the spirit said to me that grandfathers are important. We have lost so many of our grandfathers due to many leaving during the age of welfare, when men in the house equaled no benefits. We have lost grandfathers due to prisons and health reasons too. I lost my maternal grandfather to cancer. However, his spirit has always been with me. He gave my grandmother a wedding present that sat in my room as a child. This present now sits in my son’s bedroom.

My paternal grandfather never knew how to read but was very intelligent and had children who were very book smart. His weakness never stopped him from accomplishing goals.

Grandfathers give us ambition. They show the end result of hard work and keeping families together. They prove what hard work and determination can get you. Grandparents teach in more silent and effective ways and allow us to grow fluidly with courage. Parents don’t always have the maturity to accomplish this.

Many grandfathers who were born in the south, like mine, are/were great farmers and medicine men. Many of our elders know how to hustle a dollar and provide. These men can build homes, fix plumbing, lay brick, and fix cars. Our youths are sadly missing this. If you have elders in your life, visit and learn from them. Expose your children to wisdom. Parents have lot knowledge, but lack wisdom. Look out for elders who are not your blood in your community if you have no elders in your family.
There are many reasons why young black females are excelling more than the males. Many have access to grandmothers and are learning invaluable tools.

In the book,” Of Water and the Spirit by Malidome Patrice Some he writes, “A child's first few years are crucial. The grandfather must tell the grandson what the child said while still a fetus in his mother's womb. Then, he must gradually help him build a connection with his father, who will help him with the hard challenges up ahead. My father used to complain that his life was calamitous because he never knew his grandfather, who disappeared before he was born. Had he known him, my father said, he would never have lost his first family, never spent his youth working in a gold mine or later embraced the Catholic religion with a fervor grander than the one that linked him to his ancestors. His stepbrothers, who knew their grandfather, did not have the kind of restlessness that plagued my father. The frustration of a grandfatherless male child has no cure.”

Iya Raet
The book, "Holistic Parenting from the Pan-Afrikan Perspective" , is still available at http://www.afrikanparenting.com .

Never Too Early To Learn Self- Sufficiency

It is never too early to teach children to become self-sufficient. Sometimes as parents we go about our day rushing. Sometimes we need to slow down and allow our children to be a part of lives. Cooking is an excellent way to incorporate our children into our tasks. Many adults cannot prepare a decent meal for their families today, leading to a variety of health problems. My father knew how to fish, clean, and cook the fish. My best friend’s father is an excellent gardener. Food skills are life skills, and are not just limited to women.

Teaching children how to cook encourages listening, comprehension, math, and reading skills. Kids need to know the benefits of knowing how to read and calculate. Cleaning up afterwards teaches organization. Learning should be a part of everyday life. Today my four-year-old son and I made pancakes from scratch. Children being a part of meal preparations also can curb picking eating and encourages family time.

Kids can prepare a meal instead of watching TV while they wait to eat for their food.

Raet

http://www.afrikanparenting.com (BOOKS ARE STILL AVAILABLE)

Children Who Choose Difficult Paths

I tend to look at birth in a very African context. I believe all children are independent spirits of their parents that choose their mothers and fathers. I sometimes look at children who choose to be born in a womb that is doing drugs, parents who have no interest in having children, pregnancies that will end in abortion.

My own son was born not breathing for more than six minutes. My son barely moved in the womb. During my pregnancy I even told my son that I respected his decision if he chose not to enter the world. I could feel his spirit was not intent on coming into the physical realm. The midwife only saw a child as lifeless as my son one other time. She has delivered over 2000 babies. During the birth I was at peace even when he was not breathing. However, my mother, grandma, godmother, midwives, doula, and my son’s father were not at peace. Eventually, the midwife said that she did all she could do, it was now up to the parents. My son finally breathed.

I also look at spirits who choose to be born with disabilities. There are some teachings that speak of troubled ancestors, who choose very troubling paths. These children have to be carefully monitored and need to feel welcomed if they do enter this physical realm. These are children choosing to deal with very karmic issues. In Western societies we sometimes look at physical and mental disabilities as accidents or things that just happened or were genetically influenced.

Sobonfu Some’s book, “Welcoming Spirit Home” speaks on miscarriages, still births, SIDs and healing. She speaks of beings called Chiekuos. They are travelers or passing spirits, they like the idea of going places, but not staying there. She herself was a Chiekuo. Chiekuo pregnancies either end in miscarriages, still births, or sudden death syndrome. Diviners keep an eye on chiekuos and sometimes trick them into staying. If a Chiekuo dies at birth to a woman repeatedly certain rituals are done. They are able to identify the Chiekuo if she comes again. Grieving rituals are also performed. There are many ways of dealing with birth issues other than contemporary Western thought and they definitely need to be explored. I recommend Some’s book, “Welcoming Spirit Home”, if you can find it online used get it. The book is out of print. It has many rituals including healing from the death of a child.

Books are still available, “Holistic Parenting from the Pan-Afrikan Perspective”, at http://www.afrikanparenting.com .
Raet

Mental Sickness

Behind every illness is an emotional or physical trigger. Herbs, natural remedies, western medicine and allopathic remedies will not get to the root of the disease if you do not rectify the emotional causes.
In my household my son and I have had respiratory infections for two years straight around December 21st, the Winter Solstice. The next year we were respiratory infection free. I now have a severe respiratory infection. My son does not. Louise L. Hay’s has a book, “Heal Your Body”, she states that respiratory infections are caused by a fear of taking in life fully. A positive affirmation for this is, “I am Safe. I love my life”.

My son once had ringworm for two years straight around late Winter/Early Spring. Skin rashes sometimes are expression of guilt and anger. He also has a tendency to not let scars heal and make turn them into sores. Sores represent an unexpressed anger that has settled in. Look very closely at your children’s emotional and mental issues before they become too problematic.
My son has to find ways to express his emotions in positive ways. There are positive affirmations for children to recite and heal.

Other Health Problems and Emotional Triggers:

Stomach Problems – Fear

Skin Rashes and Irritations – Not feeling protected

Colic- Mental irritation and a need for a more peaceful environment.

Bronchitis – Possibly a lot of screaming and yelling in the home.

Birth Defects – Karmic: Children deciding to come here this way. This is unfinished business. Children come here independent of their parents. Parents do not create their children’s spirit.

Some illnesses and diseases occur in patterns. Patters need to be broken. If you see things repeatedly look at the root and the mental/emotional issues. Mental illness is bigger than many of the popular psychological issues you here about often such as bi-polar, depression, ADD, etc.

Raet
http:/www.afrikanparenting.com , BOOKS STILL ARE AVAILABLE.

Sickness/detoxification is a normal part of life

I have a younger cousin who has a son that is 5-years-old he is usually a very sweet young man. His father took him to get a flu shot. He was not happy at all. He left out of the office before his father and let the door slam in his face. Children sometimes instinctually know what is and what is not good for them.

Sickness/detoxification is a normal part of life that we cannot always avoid. But, we can be prepared for it. Just, because you get the flu or any illness, does not mean it has to be very harsh or fatal.

I have seen that my son has a little cough and sometimes his nose is running. He has been taking elderberry syrup during the day, compounds in elderberry bind with viruses before they can penetrate the walls of cells.

He also takes a multivitamin, Vitamin C, and astragulus daily. Good hygiene and proper hand washing is a must. Eating healthy meals and foods that are in season are also key. A strong immunes system fights against ill conditions. If your kids eat a lot of white sugar, white flour, white rice, artificial dyes, etc. they are at risk. Giving your kids halloween candy and eating unhealthy foods on Thansgiving can cause illness.

When my son goes to whole foods that have samples of green drinks in juice, http://www.amazinggrass.com/chocolate-green-superfood-powder.html . He loves to drink these samples. So, this morning he had peach/cranberry juice with some green vibrance in it. Some of the ingredients, http://www.inspiredliving.com/health-wellness-center/index1.html . The supplements work for my family because kids don’t always eat complete meals.

Allow your kids to rest, they need routine scheduled early bedtimes.

If you are thinking about getting your family the swine flu shot think again, it is not safe. I am sure you have seen the young lady who made news that can now only walk backwards after receiving the swine flu shot, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mScGC7nFDxM.

Avoiding the flu naturally, http://www.ehow.com/how_4933940_avoid-swine-flu-naturally.html

Buy, Holistic Parenting from the Pan-Afrikan Perspective today, http://www.afrikanparenting.com